Thursday, September 30, 2010

The Swan

I think I'll talk about my kids today.
I know that's rare.
But I feel as though I have to.
I must be specific.

This is how she started.
I now am grateful that I had NO idea how sick she was.
See that. I was 21. Stupid. Naive. Rose colored glasses 21...

This was how Greer and Aspen spent much of the early months.
I was not the type to stay home.
I would switch them into 1 carseat at my destination.
I only had 2 arms.
I still only have 2 arms.

We call her Appy.
It was easier for the 1 2yr old to say.
This one was quick.
This one was openly ornery.
She walked 1st.
Surprised? We weren't.
She climbed first too.

See that look.
It was that look that we knew we were in trouble.
Trust me it's not the look of innocence.

This is my favorite picture.
Aspen hates it.
It was the beginning of the awkward phase.

She had stringy hair.
She had glasses.
She had braces.
She was REALLY skinny.

She didn't have the confidence the other one had.
She didn't make friends as easily.
She was unsure of herself.
She didn't get involved the way the other one did.

She had some rough years.
She stood in the shadows.
Her personality was pretty intense.
She was tough to swallow sometimes.

She liked to be right and
needed to be first.
She had lots to grow out of.
She had lots to grow into.

She learned to not need to be first.
She started not needing to be right.
She started to get involved.
She started to find herself.

And then it happened...
She became my swan.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

3 Grapes & a Paper Towel

This came home in Rubi's backpack yesterday:

Your guess is as good as mine.

The lunch menu for yesterday said they had pineapple chunks.

The year is gearing up to be an odd one!

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Life's a Kick

Soccer started here this week.
Rubi finally gets to participate in an organized sport with a real team.
Just like everyone else has done her WHOLE life.
This kid attended her first basketball game at 1 week old.
I scheduled her induction around Sofi's basketball schedule.
Yes I did.

Pink socks you ask?
Yes I say?
Why you ask?
Have you ever watched a kindergarten soccer game I say?

All you see is legs and heads.
It's one gigantic ball of bodies with a soccer ball somewhere in the middle.
Pink legs will stick out.
I guarantee NO ONE else has pink legs.

She appears pretty tough and ready to go huh?

No they are not all smitten with Rubi.
Coach Matt is kneeling in the middle.
Brave soul...

Oh My God!
She is gonna be a

Oh! My! God!
Look at that form!

This is where things went horribly awry.
I believe that someone told her to:
"Bring it on home!"
Which meant:
Wait a minute - why are we now playing baseball?

Here she is rounding in to home.
Notice how many other children are sitting?
How did we get to baseball?

And she's off.
Back on track.
Check out the pink socks.

Which one is Rubi?
Pink socks.

Monday, September 13, 2010

18 Years...

There are 18 years in this face.
This beautiful, grown-up face.
When did this happen?
How can there already be 18 years in this face?

I see all 18 years of laughter.
I see all 18 years of tears.
I see all 18 years of hard work.
I see all 18 years of pure joy.
In this one picture.

This is the one that made me a mom.
This is the one that caused chaos to reign down in one fell swoop before she was born.
That might have had more to do with the whole unwed, teenage mother thing now that I think about it.
This is the one that started the madness.

How do I know if I've done right by her?
How do I let this one, above all the rest, go off to live HER life?
How do I trust her strength and let it happen?
How do I now convince myself that she's an adult.

18 years.
In one picture.
I can see all 18 years of her.

In one picture I see potential.
Another 18 years.
And another.
And another...

She is life...

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Do you love them "differently"?

I have 6 kids.
Is that shocking?
Probably not considering that's all I ever talk about.
I can honestly say I love them each differently.

I don't love them all the same.
Sometimes I don't love them equally.
Sometimes they're teenagers and I feel rage.
Sometimes I don't like them.
But I do always love them.

This is the one.
This is the one we earned.
This is the one that made the HARD work in our 20's worth every minute.
This one is FABULOUS.
If you don't believe me just ask her.

This was tough.
Sometimes it was harder than I ever could have imagined it would be.
Sometimes it still is.
I'm always glad I was 22.

There aren't many pictures of this one.
She doesn't like it.
She's painfully shy and has little to say to anyone.
I love her for her quietness sometimes.
I love her always for her ability to observe and catch everything.

This is the biggest baby.
I don't care who you are, I believe you love your 1st unlike all the rest.
I'm sad and I'm proud.
She's 18 and a young adult.
I'd be lying if I told you I didn't have moments when I wondered if we'd ever get here.
I need to learn to let go of this one.
I need to trust that she's going to be ok. I need to trust...

These 3?
These 3 are my heart.
I have learned things from these 3 that I will NEVER learn from a "singleton".
Not many get the opportunity to parent triplets.
We've survived a lot together.
Their strength amazes me.
There is nothing to let go of here because they left the day they were born.
They are amazing.
They are beautiful.
They are independent.
Much as I may hate it they will all be fine with or without me.
They have a bond that most of us will never in our lifetimes experience.
They are lucky.

It leads me back to this one.
This one will never leave me.
This one I earned.
This one is loud and obnoxious and quite possibly my favorite on any given day.
This one makes me laugh out loud EVERY SINGLE DAY.
I'm a better parent with this one.
Only in thanks to the ones that came before.
I was ready for this one.
I was old enough to have this one.

I am lucky...