Let the Train Come

How often do your crises come?
How often do you feel like a failure?
Is your life NOW what you expected?
Mine's not...

It's taken a LONG time to admit that.
Is this what a mid-life crisis feels like?
How come I was so sure at 19 where
I wanted to be when I was 40?
How come now that I'm 40, am I no longer
sure where I wanna be?

My sister told me last night I turned out all right.
That felt laughable when she said it.
Failure was HUGE last night.
It's been a very long time since I cried myself to sleep.

Why can't 1 day BE Freaky Friday?
Why can't you give your memories to your child for just 1 day?
Would they learn from your mistakes?
Would they understand your only regret?

I had to let go of 1 last year.
She's doing so good.
I didn't give her enough credit.

I have to let go of 3 more this year.
I'm not as confident.
I see the trainwreck of regret baring down on 1.
Do I sit back and just let the train come?

Will I always need to "get to" my kids?
Does that feeling EVER go away?
When they have their own?
This feeling has evolved in ways I least expected...

No more crying...
Sink or swim...
Forge ahead...
Trust in them...

If not Himself...

Life is funny.
I used to think I didn't want marriage.
I didn't want kids.
What a sense of humor God has.

Parker has been the child I least expected.
Why would I have a disabled child?
What did I ever do to deserve this?
It took awhile to realize it wasn't "done to me".

I'm pretty sure that this was done "for" me.
I had things to learn.
P became one of my biggest teachers.
I am grateful.

This was how P started.
All of 3.8lbs.
Not very healthy.
I was blissfully clueless - just glad they were alive...

We had no idea yet the struggles HE would face.

1996 and learning to sit.
2 years old.
Recently diagnosed.
TAILSPIN...

They were just babies.
Yet to be defined.
Creating their own normal.
Expressing their own personality.

I remember this day clearly.
He was so excited.
His sisters have taken such good care of him.
They'll never admit it though.

1st crutches at 4.
So cute.
So much determination.

7th summer.
Both legs broken.
Both hamstrings lengthened.
Not much in the party spirit.

By next summer we were on a bike.

In Junior High he ran track.

In High School he's wrestled.

He's been on the speech team.

He's now on National Honor Society.

We had NO idea here:

That we'd ever get to here:

The lyrics to the song My Way sum up how I feel about this boy.
Whatever we've asked...
Whatever he's chosen...
He's done it HIS WAY.

To think I did all that

And may I say not in a shy way
Oh no, oh no, not me
I did it my way


For what is a man what has he got
If not himself then he has not


To say the things he truly feels
And not the words of one who kneels
The record shows I took the blows
And did it my way

Somehow P became a man.
He did it on his own.
He created his normal.
And I am proud.

Survival

This is the first day of school.
Squirrelly looking bunch huh?
Is there one missing you ask?
Why YES I answer...

I fixed her all up before we left.
She's always such a good sport.
She's very good at humoring me.
OH WHAT WILL I EVER DO WITHOUT HER?!?

Survive.

This would pretty much be Sofi's whole life.
In one pile,
On the curb,
and very, colorfully so.

Looked  like a lot bigger pile close up!

Moving was an adventure.
She looks pretty spent, right?
I know it looks like she needs a Dr.
But truly, she always looks like this...

Yes the Boy was there to help.
I hope she's more organized now.
I'm not there to help her you know.

Obviously the position of the lights is extremely important.

It's all about the ambiance...

Ah... The alert look of dorkdom...
Dry erase fridge...CHECK
Microwave...CHECK
Mini lanterns...CHECK
Pretty green desk chair...CHECK

I swear that ALL those (specific) items were on the list we received...

She's never spent a birthday without me.
I provided some essential college materials.
Yes those are coloring books.
She her excitement?

Success! All moved in.
Birthday present for the next day...
Dorky name tag...
And Wayne Wear.
She's official people!

Now back to the important things.
The first day of the last year of high school,
for the majority of my children.
Apparently this picture thing is SO uncool.
Who know??

It was a difficult morning...

Sir Fattington and Lord Vinegar are SO over the drama of it all...

When school starts so starts the Animal Vacation.

Sofi left Rubi with a little gift to remember her by.

We now have 1 dog, 1 cat and 6 fish.

If anyone is counting.

And now to the biggest news of all:

This is Daisy.
She's fabulous.
And she's a whole post in and of herself.
So next time we'll discuss Daisy.


P.S. Happy Birthday Mom!

Happy Labor Day!

New post tomorrow. Promise.

A Million Things

So I applied for a job.
One I really kind of hoped I'd just fall into.
I've heard nothing.
It seemed perfect and that makes me sad...

I'm ready for my kids to go back to school.
I have so many things that just don't get done when my kids are home.
I need to shampoo this carpet!
I need to do MY laundry.

I need to clean MY room.
I need to go through Rubi's clothes.
My list gets longer everyday.
So many things just don't get the time they need when everyone's home...

It's been so dang blasted hot that I haven't cooked much.
Lot's of cold sandwiches and spaghettios and frozen waffles.
I have baked very little and am having withdrawals.
I have 3 tiers of cake in my freezer begging me to be practiced on and decorated.

I find myself thinking of Close Up bake sales
and all the things I want to try this year.
Pecan pie, pumpkin pies, caramel rolls, banana bread,
cupcakes GALORE!

I have another graduation to plan...
TIMES 3.
I LOVE the 1st day of school.
Knowing that my house will be quiet, REALLY quiet, for just a few hours everyday.

Of course I'm stressing over Sofi moving.
I'm really trying not to think about it too much.
She's on to the next chapter.
As a parent that is what you hope for - chapters.

Wordless Wednesday

Wicked Weekend With The Jones Bros

One of my favorite musicals is Wicked.
The music makes me cry.
The show makes me giggle.
And the book is shocking.

I saw it 2 years ago in Omaha.
My sister and I couldn't NOT see it when it returned in June.
My BFF Maggie got to go with us.
YAY!

We decided to make a day of it.
Old Market, good food and Jones Bros Cupcakes!
We Googled Old Market food online and came up with
The Twisted Fork.

Hidden in the depths of the OM
it turned out that some Omaha friends were
unaware that it existed.
Can I just say it is a must venture place!

The food was phenomenal and HUGE!
The drinks were VERY interesting.
I had a liquored up strawberry basil something or other.
Maggie had a Bloody Mary:

We had read on line about their signature appetizer,
Chicken Fried Bacon.
None of us wanted to admit it sounded DE-LISH.
As the waiter started to walk away Maggie shouted,
"BRING US SOME BACON!"
(Maybe she didn't shout but it was definately an afterthought.)

This is what he brought us:

If you think it looks wrong...
You are right.
And, NO, that isn't chicken strips under all that scrumptious breading...
IT'S BACON!

I am excerpting a piece of the Wikipedia post that accurately
describes this most yummy dish:

"Since the dish is rich in saturated fat, those health experts that favor low-fat diets suggest consuming it in moderation or not at all.[9] Sally Squires of the Washington Post acknowledged chicken fried bacon's appeal to the palate, but suggests moderation.[9] Other experts note the dish's low nutritional benefits: "They've taken fat, they've double-coated it in fat, they've fried it in more fat, and then they've served it with a side order of fat."[2] Jane Hurley, senior nutritionist at the Center for Science in the Public Interest in Washington, D.C., stated she's "never heard of anything worse."[2]"

It doesn't get more accurate than that.
When we got together again on the 4th (a MONTH later),
we found ourselves STILL talking
about the CHICKEN FRIED BACON!

We all had delicious sandwiches.
My sister and I both had the French Dips and decided next time
we would share a sandwich. I had mashed potatoes with mine
and she had waffle fries I believe.
Maggie had a HUGE burger and had to cut it in half to even begin
to be able to deal with it!

The decor is WONDERFULLY kitschy and I googled
the chandeliers when I got home.
I've put them in my pretend bakery.
We give The Twisted Fork 5 STARS!

On to the show.
I've already talked a bit about that.
I don't have words to describe Wicked.
It's worth the money.

Then onto the place I'd waited since Cupcake Wars to see
and sample!

Yes the dork there is me...

I am a cake addict.
I love cake.
I make cupcakes at least once a week.
I love for people to ask me to make cupcakes.

My sister had been here once and gave it, yes...
5 STARS!
I had been FBing them for weeks asking about their
"Wicked" cupcakes.

I was so unbelievably excited but Bill was not working.
His parents, however, were sitting at a table very close to us.
I threatened to make a big scene.
But I showed GREAT restraint.

See my excitement?
Mickie not so much.
She's humoring me at this point.
Mind you I had just had a mini meltdown
about a driver who was texting with a kid in the front
seat and a baby strapped in back. NOT GOOD!
I needed cupcakes!

The one on the left is lemon.
The one on the right is strawberries and cream.
S&C is my favorite.
It is OMG! good.

Yes that dork is me...

Jones Brothers is located at
2121 S 67th st, East Omaha, 68106.
You will not be disappointed.
They are on FB.
They have a cupcake of the day, usually about 96 of them.
If you come in an name it you get 1 for free.
They don't last long especially if it's chocolate!
They have also ventured into gluten free that launched this week.
Tell the Jones' that Sheila sent you!

The Twisted Fork Grill and Bar is located at
1014 Howard St
Old Market
Omaha
Definately get the Chicken Fried Bacon.

Thanks Maggie for the pictures!